Someone Buy These People A Cookbook

First a mother in Ohio was arrested on suspicion of microwaving her newborn daughter in an oven. Then a Georgia man was arrested after allegedly mistaking his estranged wife for a turkey and trying to force her into an oven on Thanksgiving. In front of their five children, no less. A quick lesson, folks: that's food, these are humans. In spite of the old Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man," we do not cook people. Class dismissed.