Offal News

Scotland is lobbying the United States to lift the ban on the importation of Scottish haggis, which has been in place since Britain's outbreak of mad cow disease. They're convinced the national dish, which contains sheep heart, liver, and lungs wrapped inside the stomach lining, would sell well among those who have no taste buds and can't read a content label. If the U.S. refuses to lift the ban, a trade war could erupt and Scotland could retaliate by stopping Slim Jims, S'mores cereal, and peanut butter slices from coming into the country.