Apple Isn't Sounding So Bad After All

Nicolas Cage's wife gave birth to a boy on Monday. They named him Kal-el. You know, as in Superman's name when he was born on Krypton. Don't be surprised if Jor-El — I mean, Cage —legally changes his son's name to Superbaby next year, then when he's 8 years old to Superboy, and once he's of legal age, Superman. In related news, 19-year-old actor Shia LaBeouf says celebrities should stop giving their children weird names like this. He says he was teased while growing up because of his strange name, which he says means, "thank God for beef," but only if you're a Jewish actor from L.A. who can't spell either Arabic or French.