Hellish Fire Sale

HELL FOR SALE. First time offered. Lots of room, great heat, huge fireplace. Over 5,000 new visitors every day. Be the master of Satan's domain — hell.com. Sold as is. No A/C. Auction being held today between 1:30 pm and 5:30 pm . For more information, contact seller. (FOLLOW-UP: No one met the minimum bid of $1 million at the auction so hell is staying where it is for now.)